DREAM PET AMAZINGNESS

Posted October 14th, 2008 by Rory Uphold

I'm obsessed with pets. I'm not entirely sure when or why this started but I'm constantly thinking about 'the best' pets or pet names.... now obviously I have a thing for doggies (frenchies to be exact) but I'm talking about the world of pets beyond dogs....

I wanna say this all started when I decided I wanted an Orca, back in the third grade. I mean, a bottlenosed dolphin would have done, but I felt an especially strong connection with Orca's. Self-ritious beyond my 8 years, I was constantly correcting my peers, "how dare you say 'Killer Whale'? It's Orcha"... See, once I found out that, contrary to popular belief, Orca's aren't man-eating 'killers' (most of them actually feed on fish) i felt it my duty to defend these wronged mammals.... kinda like the time i stood up to becky for telling everyone that kristy went home early cause she peed herself. but she didn't, she had a dentists appointment. (I used to carpool with kristy, so I knew these things) Needless to say, becky was a bitch, much like the upkeep of a whale. outrageous.

the orca thing faded out, and flirted with the idea of having a flamingo, maybe some frogs.... then i took a trip to Ecuador and my life was changed: pinguinos!!!
i luv 'em and i just can't help it... it's the way they move. they kinda remind me of my dog, which is weird, i know... but i find that most cute things remind me of my dog... anyway, i wanted a penguin soooooooo so badly but by this time i was old enough to know that, NO, santa was not bringing me a penguin....or an orca, or Seth from the O.C. (bummer)
a few years later they became super trendy :(
Happy Feet = find a new dream pet

i had to refocus, zone in on what was actually possible...
keep in mind, i had just moved back hollywood, so that meant ducks were off the list, (i know, i cried too) and i'm not into rats or snakes or spiders, so all of those were out of the question... spring rolled around and then it hit me: A BUNNY!
boy oh boy, was i stoaked. i couldn't wait... but i did, which was fortunate: once i realized that you cant really walk a bunny, my dreams of galavanting down vermont with honey (my bunny to-be) came to a screeching hault.

...and they sorta smell.

so bunnies were out.
meanwhile, i'd been getting busier, aka less time for my potential dream pet. so, i ended up getting a plant, herbert. i'd say he lasted about four weeks, but that's probably generous. it was not good. not good at all. i took herbert as a sign and decided no pets for rory. i also started birth control. (ahahaha, i better not be the only one who thinks that's funny)

...I came really close to getting a hermit crab tho. i still might.... actually, now that i think about it, i should TOTALLY get a hermit crab. maybe tomorrow?? hmm... what to name it...
off the top of my head its a toss up between thoreau or dashboard
ok wait, how about Dashboard STD Crabfessional....THE FIRST ahahaha, at least i think i'm funny :)
...hmm, i dunno tho, im not sure that STD would be a suitable middle name....

oh great, i've sidetracked.
the point of the this blog was to tell you about my latest dream pet and how it arrived via my obsession with a sea horse. yeah, a sea horse. totally want one. looked into it and everything. not gonna happen for a while tho...aside from being ridiculously expensive they're apparently impossible to maintain ie: they die faster than the bag of 10 cent fish you won at the fair... such a bummer. ugh, one day.. one day I will have a sea horse, and hopefully will look just like this:

seriously though, how amazing is this?? Uh-Mazing.

...which leads me to my next dream pet: DEEP SEA DUMBO!!

what do you think?? kinda ugly right... stare at it for a little bit.... a little longer...
its kinda cute, right? I KNOW!!

ok, so here's the scoop. its called a grimpoteuthis and its related to the octopus.... they're actually some of the rarest creatures in the entire octopada species, which isn't super surprising seeing as, A. it lives about 2 miles below the surface, and B. it's just about the weirdest looking thing i've ever seen. i can't help but stare... i'm thinking of making the picture my screen saver... we'll see tho.

cuz i'm also kinda sorta maybe getting into owls....

aight. sleep tight.
much luv
xror

hey ror, you forgot about

On October 18th, 2008 Suzuya says:

hey ror, you forgot about the mini-horse....